YP feat. Calliko — Let Me Smoke | DOWNLOAD

PREVIOUS POST: [Video] JENESIS Magazine Exclusive In-Studio Interview With YP

J.Cole – Grew Up Fast | DOWNLOAD

Article by Shannon W. Martin

Plans to leave, throw the keys to Lil’ Cease. Pull the truck up front, and roll up the next blunt. So we can steam on the way to the telly, go fill my belly. A t-bone steak, cheese eggs and Welch’s grape. Conversate for a few, cuz in a few, we gon do what we came to do. Ain’t that right boo? Truuuuuue. – The Notorious B.I.G. “Big Poppa”

It’s a story we’ve all heard before. Boy goes out with the homies. Boy meets girl. They exchange numbers. Boy and girl meet up later for an outing of some sort. Boy and girl have sex.

When I first decided to write this article, I wanted to answer a simple question: would you have sex on the first night? Turns out that I was asking the wrong question. Discussion uncovered the real issue at hand: what happens after? If you find yourself laying it down after the first encounter, is it reasonable to expect a date number two? Virtually everyone I asked had a different answer, whether man or woman.

No

“Unless she’s OD bad as hell you lose her number. I probably wouldn’t even smash again – I’m not a repeat offender.” – male friend

That’s the way one of my male friends put it.  From his point of view, any girl who let’s him hit on the first night is not the type of woman he feels deserves anymore of his time – romantically, sexually or otherwise. This is by no means a new argument. Another guy friend said the same thing. “We not together, we not about to be together and then you let me hit and THEN want to try to be together? Nah, I’m not really fuckin’ with you like that.” Then is it about setting a precedent? By having sex during/after the first encounter, are we then setting the standard that future interactions will be based on? “I don’t think a guy would ever trust her or take her seriously if it happens that soon,” said a female friend.  Then maybe it’s a question of pride. “How do I know you didn’t give it up to some next nigga on the next night?,” asked another male friend. A valid question, indeed. If a woman and a man have sex after a first date, was it because they had a genuine connection or is that just her mode of operation…because is might be *gasp* a “ho?” Nobody wants to be captain save a ho, or so I’ve been told.

Yes

“Sure, if we’re gonna be adults about it. No double-standard, republican bullsh*t.”

-female friend

Yet another valid statement, one of my female friends made. Why is it that if two consenting adults have sex on after the first date, some guys quick to label the woman as a ho? In order to give that question a fair discussion we might have to talk about the dual characterization of the woman throughout history – the fact that she is at once expected to be both the pure, innocent virgin and the experienced, erotic sexual object of every man’s fantasy. Freud referred to it as the Madonna-Whore complex, but you may know it better as the proverbial lady in the streets, freak in the sheets. The history and social implications of that discussion is entirely too much to address in this article, but what it boils down to is politics.  Many women feel as though they should be able to have sex with whomever they see fit, whenever (and however) they damn well please. Yet many feel like they can’t because of the impression it may leave. Only one of the guys I asked gave a flat-out yes to the possibility of date number two. Meanwhile, another of the girls said “I wouldn’t be able to give it up dirty on the first night because then he might think I’m a ho… I’d definitely have to save some for later.” Case in point.

Maybe

When I was talking to people about this topic, of all the answers I got, the most popular by far was – “It depends.” Depends on what exactly? The guy. The girl. The conversation during the date. Your perception of the person beforehand. Whether or not you have mutual friends. How long its been since you last got it in. It could even depend on your environment. You live at home? Do you have a roommate? Are you a young professional or are you still in college? It quickly became apparent that any one of these variables could influence how you approach the situation. For example, if a guy meets a girl in a club and she was the one p*ssy poppin on a headstand – chances are he doesn’t peg her as the wholesome type. And as one pointed out, that initial impression has a great influence on your later intentions. If the wild girl from the club busts it wide open, it comes to no surprise, in fact that may even be all that is expected of her. But if the same guy were to meet a girl in say, a supermarket and she can make that ass clap after day one – it comes as a pleasant surprise.

So then, maybe for those of you who say no – the pursuit of a relationship can’t go on after you have sex on the first date – it is an issue of perception. Women are hesitant to be seen as a ho/bust-down/jump, and men are afraid that the woman on their arm will be labeled as such. Maybe, for those of you who say yes – sex after the first night can be a great beginning – it is an issue of politics. As men and women, we were born with inalienable rights, one of which is the power to choose our actions and to choose freely. For those of you that say maybe? Could be a little bit of both.

But I’ll leave you with this: how many of you would answer the same way if you knew no one was watching?

Wiz Khalifa – Morocco | DOWNLOAD

The Kickdrums feat. Rockie Fresh – Want My Blood | DOWNLOAD

Chevy Woods feat. Wiz Khalifa – Homerun | DOWNLOAD

[/caption]

Juicy J feat. Wiz Khalifa & Chevy Woods – Cup | DOWNLOAD