The Friend Zone: Land Of The Lost

By Thomas Agnew

One of the most discussed things between young lovers in the adult life. The friend zone is one of the most dreaded creations known to men and one of the most celebrated gifts of dating to women. Though more commonly used in reference to where men stand in the pursuit of the panties, women have been subjected to the stiff arm of zones more commonly in the recent years. We already have obstacles that we have to worry about which include meeting, communication, dating, seasonal cuffing, etc., but then we have to deal with the goal line stance of getting in the end zone or turnover of downs.

Even though we treat the friend zone as “are we f*ckin or what” © Jadakiss  or “we just friends,” I believe there are four zones that need to be accounted for:

We Just Met:

One of the safest zones to be in. Why? This is where you get to look or stare each other down, figure out if you really want to pursue this new adventure, or call an audible and choose another hot route. The only problem with this area is that women already have figured out half of the time if they’re going to let you party in their pants or not. Most women say they know who they’re going to have sex with but I find that to not be totally true.

We’re Just F*ckin:

Just that. No common talk. No how are you doing’s. No let’s go to the movies. No “cook me links with those grits” in the morning.

Friends with Benefits:

One of the hardest zones to be in but might have the most benefits but also the most headaches in the end. We’ve seen the movie. Mila was trying to be a hard ass and just get loose with Justin on a friendship tip. If you have good agreement it works for a while. Most of the time one of the others catches feelings. It may be one likes the other, one gets jealous, or actually that’s it.

I Lost:

You’re friends. There’s a 90% chance you’ll never find your way to the other zones ever again. But they say good friends often make for the best relationships.

Now that we have the zones listed, you have to wonder “how do I get into these categorized zones?” I would say communication is the only key. No matterI how awkward the situation, you have to figure out where you are. But really are there other factors that help you categorize people? Can you exist in two zones at once?

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Written by Thomas Agnew